Bromance

Our society is filled with strange half baked beliefs about how we have to conduct ourselves. These beliefs are often not stated but are felt as part of the non-formulated social compact to which many human beings adhere.

One of the most prevailing myths in all societies is that men are supposed to, and actually want to be, distant from each other and be regarded as strong enough to walk through life alone. This has been the claim of many a wife, maybe when in the middle of a fight about the family's large mortgages, to charge a man with being unable to effectively communicate.

What the people who propagate the myth of the silent man fail to realize is that men do, in fact, communicate very well. They just tend to do it in a very different, much more subtle way than females do. Men don't unload every aspect of their lives within a circle of people at a book club they just began attending. They don't have their cell phones handy in their Motorola leather cases in case they should have an emotional breakdown after seeing a moving ad on the back of a bus.

What men do to communicate is find a few close companions with whom they talk when it is absolutely necessary. Men tend to talk in secret code that is totally undecipherable to women. It can be rude and sound downright demeaning, and if a man were to talk to his significant other in the way that he talks to his friends she would throw him out. The way that they speak while working physical jobs building condominiums in Toronto or around the water cooler as accountants was not really intended for female ears.

Whether women understand it or not, men do communicate with each other, and very well. While this may still be a mysterious concept to some women, the sight of two close male friends is entering the North American zeitgeist more and more these days. It's been named the "bromance."

Now, bromance sounds like a term that was made up by some pie in the sky intellectual who wanted to once again fit the habits of men into something that a woman could understand. In fact, the term was coined in a famous skateboarding magazine to describe the bond that forms between groups of skaters who spend a lot of time together. This can be seen on any piece of vacant Paris to Scarborough realty; groups of adolescent males who hang out together all the time, getting into trouble and avoiding apprehension and just generally sticking together.

Most men will probably tell you that the term bromance, though possibly well intended, is yet another phrase which will tend to make them even more stand offish towards others than before. In yet another irony of male relationships, men might admit to one of their best friends that they are in a sort of bromance, but that would usually be followed by some sort of hazing to lighten the mood.

One of the great things about deep male bonds is that they are either there, or they are not. A man knows if another guy is worthy of the effort of a bromance almost right away. They may have a common bond, signing up for the same triathlon, Canada expats, and so on, which brings them together in the first place. A short conversation will usually be enough for each man to know if the other is going to be suitable friendship material, and they will either take or leave the relationship at that.

Bromance is a relatively new term to describe a very old phenomenon. Men have always had close relationships with each other, they have just developed in a way that is not apparent to society at large.